About a year ago, I met a wonderful girl. She seems like a really nice and decent girl. I thought to myself, I'm going to treat her like a princess, to make sure she deserves the care every girl in this world should deserve. I wanted to love her like a baby, to care for her like never before, and to look after her like a guardian angel.
As days go by, I started to get to know her better, we hang out, we talked, we chatted, we fell for each other but we never made it official. I keep repeated to myself in my head that I'm going to be really serious with this girl. I'm going to show her how girls should be treated. We had a really good time, my heart melt's whenever i hear her laughter, it is the sweetest thing you could ever hear, and her smile.. it's breath taking.
I have no earthly idea when things started to get in a mess, but shit happens. We started to argue quite often as she seems to have a tendency to go out with guys 1on1. I'm not sure if that's normal to you all but it's certainly a big no no to me, especially when they go drinking. She started to get more and more busy with God knows what and always skipped my messages or just reply me a few hours later, i tried to endure all this but it's hurting me inside. Things go from bad to worst when one day we planned to bake a cake together for mother's day and she tried to bail on me so she could go support her guy friend in a basketball match. The funny thing is just a week ago, my friend's ( who was the opposing team of the guy she wanted to go support) asked me to watch their game, and i agreed. But after a few days later, i made another plan with the girl to bake the cake for our mom's and i canceled the basketball match so i can spend time and bake with her, but she canceled me to go watch the game. Ohh the irony..
Slowly and slowly, she started to dislike the way i'm caring for her, she complaints that i care too much and I'm too sensitive, i agree, when i care, I give it my all, I stay loyal and try my very best to keep her happy. But the way i express my love is too much for her.. I'm a very sensitive person. Every little thing someone says to me could make my day or just make me unhappy all day long. I guess that's just how God wanted to make me, to care about everyone, to feel every little feelings there is to feel. I just want to stop caring and be a mean guy..
Despite all the arguments and quarrels we had, somehow,someway, we seem to always get through it together until today, it seems that she is fed up me, she hates how i have so much "feelings" she hates how much i care for her that she needs her space, her freedom. She told me to piss off today, it is the second time she said something so hurtful that it is tearing little pieces of me inside that might give me a heart attack one day.
We're not meant to be. We are different in every way I love, I care, I like to show off my girl to the whold to let everyone know how happy i am with her. I want my girl to feel like a princess every day, I want her to smile from her heart, i want to provide for her, to make sure she knows everything is going to be okay. I guess she is a big girl now and doesn't need these silly things from me, she's independent and strong, why would she need a sensitive kid like me? I always feel that she doesn't appreciate me enough, that she takes me for granted. I guess girls just get tired of you someday.
In the past, i never cared that much, i don't really take it seriously, i treat girls very bad. This time i changed, i tried to love in a different way, to be a good guy, a good boyfriend, or maybe a good husband like my dad one day, But i failed.. I learnt something new today, treating someone too bad is wrong, treating someone too good is wrong too, you end up just being the only stupid one giving your all and the opposite sex just live on with their life knowing you would always be there when they need you, when they do not need you, you're trash.
I just don't know anymore, I'm a difficult person to understand. I don't even understand myself at times so i don't expect other people to understand me. I guess it's true that everyone has that special someone that would just surprise you, that would be the perfect fit for you, someone who understands you, who appreciate and love you as much as you love them. I know i'll find that special someone one day. I just have to be patience and let mother nature do the work.
I came to the USA to work for the summer so I had the money to take care of her and buy things for her, I have three jobs, 96hours a week. I bought some pretty cool stuff from USA for her, I guess I'd have to throw them all, I don't think she wants anything to do with me. All my hard work and sleepless nights here have been for her and she just can't seem to see it. I need to stop putting other people first..
To the girl, just take care of yourself. Go find someone who cares less, who lets you have your freedom to do whatever you want all the time, to go drinking with guys, to be happy. I just failed over and over again to make you happy , i gave up. In the end, we don't deserve each other after all. Keep smiling and laughing, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who would pay a million dollar for it.
Good luck love.
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